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memezilla2016-04-03 09:03 pm
memezillamods) wrote in memezilla2016-04-03 09:03 pm
Entry tags:
Rain Meme
the rain meme
Ah, rain—the precipitation that the whole world has a love/hate affair with. It waters the garden for free and ruins baseball games. It cools you off in the summer and it causes more ice and sleet to appear in the winter. Sometimes it is lovely and falls at a decent pace for a few hours, other times, it blasts the whole eastern seaboard away.
Poems and songs have been written about it, people have danced in it, others have cursed its entire existence, and still more refuse to go out and drive in it.
Now it’s time to roll some dice and see what the weather will have in store for you today.
Poems and songs have been written about it, people have danced in it, others have cursed its entire existence, and still more refuse to go out and drive in it.
Now it’s time to roll some dice and see what the weather will have in store for you today.
directions
1. Comment with your character, series, preferences, etc in the subject.
2. Roll a number between 1-5 with the RGN for an intensity, or choose one you like best
3. Roll 1-15 with the RGN for a situation, or choose one you like best
4. Reply to other comments and play the scenario out!
5. Don’t catch a cold!
intensity
1. DRIZZLE ☂ It’s not too heavy or too light of a downpour, just enough to wash away stuff in the air, water the ground, and clean up the streets.
2. MONSOON ☂ It’s horrible and awful! Rain is coming down in buckets, no one can get anywhere, the wind is whipping everything about, and now the cable is out.
3. SHOWER ☂ Reminds you of early spring, doesn’t it? A nice shower to make everything all green and smell fresh again. Lovely.
4. FLOOD ☂ While rain is good, it can sometimes be bad. Grab a boat!
5. CATS & DOGS ☂ You’re lucky with this one. It’s not the worst storm in the world, but it’s still pretty heavy. Be careful when driving!
prompts
1. A DARK, STORMY NIGHT ☂ You know all those stories that start off with a stormy night before something goes wrong: a murder, an attack by ninjas, a crime. It is one of the best known clichés in the world, and you’re stuck in the middle of it.
2. HUMIDITY ☂ It’s that time of the year again when the humidity rises and the rain has two options: make it worse or make it go away. Good luck getting the latter.
3. GRAY RAIN OF DEPRESSION ☂ We all know this one. Stuck in the middle of no where, or right after an argument, or something that leads to angst, the rain decides to express someone’s feelings in a physical form, serious or over the top.
4. QUIET MORNING ☂ Nothing to do, nowhere to be… sometimes the rain is a welcomed addition to a quiet day. Gives you an excuse to stay in, curl up in a warm blanket and a book, maybe a loved one or a cup of hot chocolate. With sprinkles.
5. PUDDLES ☂ After it rains, what is the number one thing you have to do? Go put on some rubber boots and splash around of course!
6. SUDDEN STORM ☂ It might have been predicted, but sometimes storms just sweep in and do their thing with little to no warning. Hope you’re not outside.
7. THUNDER & LIGHTNING ☂ Loud, surprising, scary, ominous, comforting, fantastic to watch or listen to… some like thunder and lightning, others not so much. Of course, if this happens before a big confrontation, the universe is telling you something.
8. CAN’T GET WORSE ☂ You did not say that. You did not just say that. How many times does this need to be seen in movies and books before anyone learns?
9. STUCK ☂ No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening. What happened to the ten percent chance of rain? You forgot your umbrella and now you’re stuck in it!
10. RUINED PLANS ☂ You had all these wonderful plans to go outside, have some fun in the sunshine, do some errands, maybe a date… and the weather goes against them.
11. DANCING ☂ Sometimes rain is a cause for celebration, or you just feel like doing something spontaneous. Grab someone to join you and get wet!
12. RAIN BATTLE ☂ The most intense, important battles happen in the rain. Verbal spars, punching someone in the guts; it’s all dramatic and climatic. And no one slips.
13. DATE ☂ Aww, don’t let the weather ruin your date! It can be really romantic, being out in the rain, and it’s always fun to go with the flow.
14. A DAY INSIDE ☂ Sometimes, it’s just better to stay inside and enjoy something simple and easy like board games or catching up on TV shows, or maybe the bills.
15. WILD CARD ☂ Was there something I missed? Did you want to roll again or choose your own adventure? Go for it!
2. MONSOON ☂ It’s horrible and awful! Rain is coming down in buckets, no one can get anywhere, the wind is whipping everything about, and now the cable is out.
3. SHOWER ☂ Reminds you of early spring, doesn’t it? A nice shower to make everything all green and smell fresh again. Lovely.
4. FLOOD ☂ While rain is good, it can sometimes be bad. Grab a boat!
5. CATS & DOGS ☂ You’re lucky with this one. It’s not the worst storm in the world, but it’s still pretty heavy. Be careful when driving!
prompts
1. A DARK, STORMY NIGHT ☂ You know all those stories that start off with a stormy night before something goes wrong: a murder, an attack by ninjas, a crime. It is one of the best known clichés in the world, and you’re stuck in the middle of it.
2. HUMIDITY ☂ It’s that time of the year again when the humidity rises and the rain has two options: make it worse or make it go away. Good luck getting the latter.
3. GRAY RAIN OF DEPRESSION ☂ We all know this one. Stuck in the middle of no where, or right after an argument, or something that leads to angst, the rain decides to express someone’s feelings in a physical form, serious or over the top.
4. QUIET MORNING ☂ Nothing to do, nowhere to be… sometimes the rain is a welcomed addition to a quiet day. Gives you an excuse to stay in, curl up in a warm blanket and a book, maybe a loved one or a cup of hot chocolate. With sprinkles.
5. PUDDLES ☂ After it rains, what is the number one thing you have to do? Go put on some rubber boots and splash around of course!
6. SUDDEN STORM ☂ It might have been predicted, but sometimes storms just sweep in and do their thing with little to no warning. Hope you’re not outside.
7. THUNDER & LIGHTNING ☂ Loud, surprising, scary, ominous, comforting, fantastic to watch or listen to… some like thunder and lightning, others not so much. Of course, if this happens before a big confrontation, the universe is telling you something.
8. CAN’T GET WORSE ☂ You did not say that. You did not just say that. How many times does this need to be seen in movies and books before anyone learns?
9. STUCK ☂ No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening. What happened to the ten percent chance of rain? You forgot your umbrella and now you’re stuck in it!
10. RUINED PLANS ☂ You had all these wonderful plans to go outside, have some fun in the sunshine, do some errands, maybe a date… and the weather goes against them.
11. DANCING ☂ Sometimes rain is a cause for celebration, or you just feel like doing something spontaneous. Grab someone to join you and get wet!
12. RAIN BATTLE ☂ The most intense, important battles happen in the rain. Verbal spars, punching someone in the guts; it’s all dramatic and climatic. And no one slips.
13. DATE ☂ Aww, don’t let the weather ruin your date! It can be really romantic, being out in the rain, and it’s always fun to go with the flow.
14. A DAY INSIDE ☂ Sometimes, it’s just better to stay inside and enjoy something simple and easy like board games or catching up on TV shows, or maybe the bills.
15. WILD CARD ☂ Was there something I missed? Did you want to roll again or choose your own adventure? Go for it!
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Nothing she was saying was making this easier for him, so when he led her to the alley when she'd said nothing, she didn't resist. Some part of her wanted to laugh at him guiding her, but instead she followed. The building helped to shield her from the rain, but that didn't help the tears as she dashed at her eyes with the side of her hands, hating that she cared if her mascara smeared, if she looked pathetic in Matt's eyes right that minute.
"Matt. Listen to me." She knew he was but she was trying to think, to organize her words. He had said so much and she was trying to process it, and she needed him to know what she was thinking rather than standing there and crying.
"So you should have told me. Then Foggy wouldn't be lying to me too, and trying to hide it." Like when Daredevil had gotten into it with Punisher when Reyes had used Grotto as bait. Now it made sense the way that Foggy had acted, but that didn't make it easier. "And I could have been there for you, before now, even..."
Even with that woman and not thinking he had used her and then moved on, somehow, to someone prettier. But had he? To someone who understood him more.
"Is it because she understands you more?" Even as she asked it, she hated herself for it, shaking her head and moving to brush her hair back from her face even as it stuck.. She turned, took a step, pacing as she tried to think. "You abandoned us, Matt. You left us and didn't give us a chance to be there for you. Do you have any idea what I've been doing?" Asked even as she turned back to face him, moving in close, nearly toe to toe with him.
"I've watched dead bodies be dragged out of the water, and listened while Castle killed men who followed me, and ..." And before that she had killed a man, and she couldn't say that because Matt made it clear how he felt about those things and she just wanted to scream, to cry, to be held and curl up and ignore the world. Except it would mean curling up alone, in an apartment that didn't have heat currently, and thinking about what story she should be working on, except all she could think about was Matt, and Foggy and Castle, and waiting for Fisk to one day send a man for her.
"All your secrets and Daredevil and all of it and you know what hurts the most? You chose them over us," she said, which sounded so childish but it was true, and at least she was acknowledging more than just Elektra then, right? "How many have you let in, but I wasn't what? Trustworthy enough? Is that it?" She had been suspected of murder when they met, had that still carried over to now?
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
With them both buried in pain, neither mentally or physically prim or neat, Matt had begun to dwell a lot on his own struggles too. The little differences in all that made up Karen's side of the anguish blended together, and he had a difficult time trying to focus on any specific one. The more she cried, the more upset he became, the exaggerated senses having a mind of their own and creating almost an empathy between them. One that seemed to want to scream out understanding and explanation in equal measure, yet was unable to do either.
He did focus on her when she said his name, all of himself burning over into her as she implored him to listen.
The mention of Foggy having to lie to her made his chin tremble, forehead creasing. That was honestly one of the worst parts of it all, that he'd lied to two friends, then made one lie to another. What the hell was he doing? No one was ever even supposed to find out about what he'd been doing as a vigilante...never. His teeth chattered just so when she went on, suggesting how she could have been there for him. He didn't know how, which made them standing there, him confiding in her so much, all the more terrifying. Was this another mistake, telling her everything?
Lips twitching, head shaking even as she asked him why his trust of Elektra seemed to be so much greater than what he had in Foggy or Karen. "No!" The declaration carried up into the sky, echoing between the buildings before he lowered his voice again, both hands going into fists at his sides. "She doesn't." He almost sounded like he wasn't so confident in that response, but he was. He hadn't chosen for Elektra to come back, to ruin the part of his life that included a bright, beautiful blonde soul. He flinched a bit when Karen moved, not having a quick enough response for what he'd imagined she'd been doing while he'd been out, abandoning her, before she turned back.
Then she was close again, nearly in his face, but he made no move to distance himself back or to the side. He stood there, looking over at her, want to reach out to somehow physically make it better overcoming him.
"That's-You," his breath caught, head shaking, shoulder finally slumping against the wall, "I didn't chose anyone over you." He was there for them, when he could be, balancing. Balance. He wasn't...oh hell. It all crashed down on him in an instant. He knew how he'd disappointed both of them, yet he'd let himself live in the delusion that he'd been doing what he needed to, that they just didn't understand. His neck bent, face shifting downward as it crumpled, tears starting to flow out more freely. "I didn't...I'm sorry, Karen. I didn't, I didn't mean for it to be like that."
The dark, dirty ground had no place to be what his attention was on, and yet, he couldn't look up as he continued. "It's not not being trustworthy. I trust you, Foggy. More than anyone else. I just didn't want you to get to hurt." Which he knew sounded absolutely asinine. Breathing out, breath catching again, he paused for a few seconds. "Two, only two, before Foggy. Stick," and he said the name, not even realizing she didn't know who the hell he was talking about, "knew on his own, and so did she. Elektra. She figured it out. I didn't go out of my way to tell her. And that was...it was before I was him. Daredevil."
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
"That's how it feels though,' she said, voice cracking with the sob as she crossed her arms over her chest. Not distancing, but hugging herself, needing something solid in that moment to try and keep her from just losing herself into the pain filled sobs that seemed to swell in her throat. "Yes, you were saving Hell's Kitchen, saving me and everyone else, but all it feels like is that all I've done and been through was just... I don't even know." She had killed to protect him and Foggy, and she couldn't even mention it. She knew she couldn't. Not now. Maybe not ever.
"I don't need you to protect me from you, Matt. I never did," she said, meaning it. "You knew who you were the first time you kissed me. You knew what you were doing. Why did that change? Why did you let us go?"
Because that was how it felt, even if it hadn't been his intention. She knew when the Devil of Hell's Kitchen was first talked about, and she knew when he'd started pushing them away.
"Why did you let me go?" She whispered it, unable to stop herself from asking even as her voice broke, the tears flowing fast and hard even as she tried to rub them away with the her fingertips. This wasn't where they should be having this talk, and maybe not the time. She wasn't meaning to make it his fault... she just needed reassurance that it hadn't been hers.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
For letting her stay unaware of his full reality, Matt was sorrier than he could put into words. He couldn't, wouldn't apologize for who he inherently was, not that she was making him feel like she was pushing him to, which was at least a relieving change from the times he'd been yelled at by others for not telling them details. Or, worse, when he did, finally, and then they yelled at him even more. He didn't have anything else to say about it just then though, brows going together in silent question when she additionally referenced all that she'd done.
His features trembled again slightly, emotion overcoming him, with the thoughts of how he was honestly still torn by the idea that yes Karen did need protecting from who he was - and yet, he couldn't retort that. She certainly didn't agree, was trying to press him into seeing it from her viewpoint. Then, he was filled with a type of dread over how she went on.
A beat away from making statements that would have driven her away, made her feel worse, been accusatory, it was Karen's voice cracking, the increase of tears, that made his throat tighten, lips parted, any reaction stilling for a moment.
He couldn't say that she'd been the one to walk away, didn't want to hurt her more.
"That's what you think I did?" He repeated, more for himself than anything, letting the words sink in. Simply put, he was used to having people walk away. Having the answers for why that was, or his perception of reasoning, didn't make it any better. Often and every day of late, he'd grown more and more resigned to thinking that, maybe, he wasn't meant to have good in his life.
Why then he'd sought her out, well. He'd been the one to tell her about who he was, finally, and maybe at the core of his heart, he wasn't nearly as defeatist about his relationships, friendships, as he felt on the surface.
"I wish I realized before, that that's what how you took it. It wasn't what I meant to make you think I was doing. I didn't know that you still wanted me to try. I thought...I thought it would be over, after," after she pushed him away, when she didn't give him the chance to talk like he wanted to, to apologize, to explain about Elektra being in his bed. What kind of story he would have made up to explain it though, that was anyone's guess. It would have been full of lies, so perhaps it was best that he hadn't contrived a story at the time. Maybe, it was better, to get through what they were with tears and strained words.
"After everything," he continued following a pause. "I don't know how I could have told you then, and you thought, you thought I'd been with, with her, and that's the misunderstanding I meant, Karen." There, answering that part after several minutes in a roundabout way. Maybe he was putting his foot in his mouth saying it then, who knew.
Voice tightening, face trying to even out even in spite of feeling like his insides were spinning, his shoulders straightened. Knowing how much Karen had started to cry more, he reached up to trail the tips of his fingers of one hand along her arm, in a caress. "I never wanted to let you go. I never meant to."
It might not be that simple, but his words were spoken in honesty.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
"What else was I supposed to think, Matt? What I knew was you had a drinking problem, and then you weren't showing up for court, and we were handling it all alone and then..." She shook her head. "It wasn't her. Wasn't just her," she said, correcting herself. "It was all of it, and not knowing the truth, what was I supposed to think?"
She wasn't sure if she had known the truth that it would have changed everything. Maybe it could have, but she didn't know. She only knew what had happened. That feeling that alcohol was more important than Foggy and Karen, more important than the law, and the court, and the truth behind why Frank was doing everything he was.
"Put yourself in my shoes, Matt. What would you think if I stopped doing everything you knew I loved, and thought I was drinking, and I was hurt all the time, and then you found me with another man?"
It was cruel putting it like that, putting it in so many words, but she needed him to understand why she had thought he was done with her, had moved on. It was a fear of not being enough, and that wasn't fair to him, but it was how she had felt in the end.
Again dashing at her eyes, even as she shifted, wanting to lean into him, to hold on to him there and not let go as a shiver ran through her from that touch.
"I should have let you explain. I should... I shouldn't have ever assumed that about her,' she said, meaning it. She shouldn't have. "Except by then, I just thought that you had written us off." It was easier speaking in terms of the pair of them, but she meant her. She was hurt, she needed answers. And she needed to know he had cared about her.
"Why then," she finally managed, voice cracking once more. "Why, Matt? Why was not letting me in so important?" Not asking him to stop. Not saying he should ever give up the suit for her, but why hadn't he let her be part of it all.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
He looked shocked though, lines of his face deepening that she'd thought he was a drunk. An alcoholic, cheating, asshole. Awesome: Matthew Murdock, you've really outdone yourself.
Thoughts of what how he could reply danced through his mind, yet he let her go on, glad to have done so. For, she gave a blunt and frank declaration of her assessment, one that pained him more, but with pain came clarity, and clarity was everything.
"It's a reasonable conclusion," he said, voice and heart feeling lame as he ran his teeth gently against his bottom lip, not repeating that what Karen had thought didn't truly reflect reality.
And with those brief words, he let her keep going, not interjecting even when he thought about how he didn't want to lie to her anymore, omission of the truth being just as much of a lie. That he knew he chose what he was doing in the city, with Elektra, over her and Foggy, the trial, his very job. Yet he wouldn't have changed his mind. It was important at the time, and as he pondered how to express that multitude of feelings that he knew would sound awful with actual words, Karen's voice broke again and she asked that.
It made his jaw tighten, mouth jutting over to the side as he tried to hold back the emotion over that idea. "God, Karen, it was always important. With you, and Foggy, I would never write either of you off," because he had no qualms with continuing to include Foggy in the conversation, considering that it simply made sense. "But I didn't know if it was right, it I should tell, or how to tell you..." Then, well, his hand with a mind of its own had trailed up higher to the top of her shoulder before he bridged what little distance there was between them, to move in and embrace her, hands going up to the top of her back, near her shoulder blades, to hug against her, in spite of not having enough words. Even with having left her with pain, with so many unanswered questions.
He didn't know if she'd pull away, and if she did - if she fled away from him, well, he'd let her go. Matt always let people go. Knowing how desperate an action it was, he let his face go in toward her neck, awkwardly not making contact, though he wanted to bury his face there, feels her form against his. "I'm sorry, Karen. I've always wanted to let you in." To every part of himself.
He should have. Had the faith to know that she could protect herself more than he realized; that, even if he had saved her that first night, he wasn't the crowning glory of all safety and protection that he wanted to believe Daredevil could be. She was capable, and he could trust her.
Voice low, eyes closed, he held onto her, hands against her back. "I should've tried, given you the chance." Of course he wanted her to hug back, and in a familiarly desperate tone, added the words, "Can you let me try to prove to you how important it is to me, to be able to try, now? Please."
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
His words struck her deep, pained and yet wanting to hear them. She wanted to know that he hadn't just hid things and accepted what she had been through as acceptable. She needed to know he knew how she felt, and what she was going through. She didn't want to lose him and Foggy. She didn't want to lose the man that she'd thought about dates with and sharing nights, and working together and talking and all that they could share but now it felt all of that was gone too.
So when he pulled her to him, she didn't resist. Nothing in her wanted to run, wanted to rant and try and get away. Instead she moved into that hold, sliding her hands around his waist and holding him tight to her. She wasn't thinking of those kisses then. Only about how she had thought she would never have this again, never share with him, never have him hold her and care for her as she had thought he did.
"Then you should have," she whispered, choking on the words, "And you still have to tell me more," she said, meaning it. "There isn't enough, and there's things you haven't told me and..." She sniffed, making a soft sound. "And there's things I need to tell you Matt. If... If we're going to try..."
And there it was, allowing that they could, indeed, try. She wasn't sure where they could get, but if they could even just reclaim their friendship, then maybe that could be enough.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
That was how he felt about his friendship with Karen too. They were meant to be friends and as troublesome a thought it was to let her into the darkest side of his life, he'd chosen to take that risk and wasn't going to back away from it.
A heavy sigh, full of relief, left him when she didn't stop the embrace, holding tightly onto her too. All he thought as she softly spoke back words, still so full of emotion, was agreement as she went on. Whatever she might have to tell him? Perhaps foolishly, or because of how much all of what they spoke of truly had to do with himself and Daredevil, he didn't think into it. Just that she had other things to express to him. It wasn't selfish, he was just too engrossed with aiming to patch up what he'd erroneously done, to help pave a way to having something akin to what they had before.
Face shifting farther in toward her neck when she'd choked on her words, he pulled away just so, though maintained a deeper level of calm in his stance, at least, given how relieved he was that she was letting them stay as he'd encouraged them toward.
"Ask. Anything. I mean it, Karen. I'll tell you whatever you want to know." Totally sincere in that. "Full disclosure." Thinking that what she might need to tell him had to do with, well, what they were discussing? He let those words answer for all she'd said.
Hands pressing against her, cheek almost brushing up against hers, he whispered, "I want a shot, to be your friend again. A real friend." Which was entirely true as well. He felt the pang of regret over losing what they'd had, as far as the dates and kisses and other unspoken ideas had gone, yet it was a fleeting thought. Focusing on their friendship, rebuilding it, that's what mattered.
"We can talk, however long you want. Here. Or, somewhere to get coffee." With a light click of his teeth as he paused, voice still quiet, pondering whether or not to make his next thought aloud. "I can always break into your building if you want back in there too." Well, it was true.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Her fingers caught the back of his shirt, balling up in the fabric as if fearing he would try to pull away, not willing to let him go. Despite knowing he was still in Hell's Kitchen, still technically in her life, but this was different. This was learning that just because he was Daredevil, it didn't mean they couldn't, maybe just maybe, still have them as well.
And she would just seek friendship, knowing that she had to have that... but it didn't mean she wouldn't think about what else they could have had, how much more she would love to have with him. Her heart would recover, but not having him in her life at all, she wouldn't make it then.
When he shifted, she tugged at his shirt, pulling him back in close with her. "Don't go. Please. Matt." She wanted to almost beg, to plead even though she knew he wasn't leaving, and he wasn't going to go away. Not yet.
Despite the pain, she laughed when he talked about breaking into her place. It shouldn't have been funny, but it would have been before, even now.
"Well, I have coffee at my place and less people listening but, if you would feel better somewhere open," she murmured, not wanting him to feel trapped if they went back to her place, but some of the things she knew they needed to talk about were not things they needed others to overhear as well.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Inhaling a bit sharply when she clutched at his shirt, one hand smoothed down until it nestled in the curve of the small of her back, flicker of a clenched smile passing over his face at just how she really wasn't walking away from him.
Touch always did bring him much closer to someone, shaping a greater connection than what the sight he'd been left with amounted to. Matt had certainly thought it, but he wasn't sure if he'd said so aloud: that he needed her, however he could have her, in his life. Everything fell apart on him, at once really, it felt like. He never would have pushed her into re-accepting him as a friend, if that's what they were doing there with the pattering of rain all around and on top of them.
He shifted his arms in place around her, hands urging her closer in a tug to a tighter hug, words whispered. "I'm not gonna go anywhere, Karen."
He did have the habit of speaking phrases that could be construed as jokes in the strangest of circumstances, so he couldn't help but let a quirk of a smile out when she laughed. It was a pretty laugh, even in spite of the strain in any sound she made, pain of tears still radiating between them.
Hesitating for a moment, he nodded, shifting away just enough to create a tiny space between them, gaze cast much in the same way it generally was. Slightly toward her, mostly away. "I'd prefer something more private, if that's okay with you," came out his reply in a still soft voice, hoping his words conveyed how deeply he didn't want to intrude in the personal space of her apartment, of her life.
That that privacy came with the option of her openly yelling at him depending on how he might explain certain areas too, well, that wasn't lost on him. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been yelled at for keeping so much a secret, so he would risk it. For them, for her.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
When he left the office that night, she had wondered if she would ever see him again. Would this be like Frank, but so much worse, someone she cared about, and cared for, and suddenly they were gone from her life and she would have to learn to live without them.
Except this was that glimmer of hope that she wasn't going to have to. Especially with those words from Matt.
"Just making sure," she said, twisting her fingers a bit against the fabric. "Private works though. I think I can trust you," she said, again giving a small joke. Yet there was so much in those words, meaning it. She could trust him, and planned not to lose that.
"Though try and not break the door, okay? I can't afford to replace that. I'm being paid by the word," she added, though that wasn't true either but jokes were easier than emotions, right? "I have to let go, don't I?"
It wasn't like they could go anywhere unless she let him go.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Karen could trust him, though the fact that he'd given her reasons to see him as being untrustworthy of late wasn't lost. So, he gave a little laugh, not letting the nagging thought of if she really did trust him into his reaction. It wasn't a lie, he knew that, not in the context she'd meant.
He chuckled lightly at her telling him not to break the door, lips pressing together a tiny bit when she mentioned her new job. Maybe it was all a new path they needed to be on, without Nelson and Murdock being present. There were other matters pressing on him, on them, so he wasn't going to let his sadness and regret over that weigh down on him at present.
"Yeah you gotta let go," he answered with a perk to his smile, bringing one hand down off her back and to reach to slide his fingers against hers, to try to weave their hands together to hold hers. "At least like this." A small nod down at how they were still standing; holding onto one another for dear life in the easy fall of rain.
He'd let her start to move away first, smoothly going along with her to step away, holding her hand as they went if she allowed, staying close to her, if she let him do that too.
Before they left the alley, he added, "I wasn't planning on necessarily using the front door either. I was thinking more -- higher." Why not go around leaping around on elevated surfaces, ladders and the like to get onto roofs, if you could. Her apartment must have access to the roof, and if not, well...then he'd casually break through the front door. Or a window. There were options!
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
And she was happy.
His fingers slotting against hers was good. Better than maybe it should have been. Part of her thought she should pull away, take more time, try and figure this all out without letting her emotions win out. Except her emotions, her heart, was all she wanted to listen to.
So her fingers curled against his, as she stepped away, chest aching at that moment and not wanting to do that. Not at all, yet she moved easily at his side. That felt right, familiar, and that alone made her eyes sting once more. She was glad for the rain to cover the slow, needy tears that traced her cheeks, unable to stop them from dampening her lashes.
"Right. Higher," she said, glancing at him. That hurt a bit, not that he wanted to, but that was still a reminder, trying to cope with that and what that meant to her life now, and could mean to them in the future.
"So what? I should stand here and wait for you?"
She wouldn't admit how much that scared her, that he would ascend to the roof and then how long would it be before she saw him again. Her fingers loosened on his though. "The roof access door is on the left.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
He was glad for their hands staying held together, grounding them both. He could feel it, the brief hesitance and then submission to what physically felt nice. There was no great harm in holding hands, though he could feel how much it brought them together, and why that could feel somewhat dangerous to give into so quickly. Still, he had no plans on doing anything else, just wanted to hold her hand, to keep her close.
He wished that he could stop her crying, his own chest tight as he kept any other tears at bay, not thinking just yet how they wouldn't have the veil from the rain to hide them once they were inside. And inside, certainly, there would be more tears.
Saying openly how he planned to use the roof to get inside, it was but a comment to slip into speaking about the other side of his life. He didn't want to bring her any discomfort in knowing more about that reality, and he smiled in spite of thinking that he heard a hint of hurt in her tone.
"That'd be easier," he replied, definitely feeling her nerves and wishing he could erase those too. He'd nodded when she told him where the access door was. "I'll be fast, though, and I'll be able to hear down here, if anything happens. Just, go stand by the front door, and I'll be down in just a minute, okay?" He squeezed her hand, trying to be reassuring, tone confident as he gave a little smile. Then, he let go and looked over toward the door that lead her apartment building, waiting for her to settle beside it before he went.
Finding his way up via fire escape ladders, he found that the door atop the roof was actually already ajar, scoffing down at it and shutting the damned thing. Really, the security there. Seriously. Then, quick as could be, dashing right down the stairs, actually looking out of breath (on purpose, okay? what? sometimes he could be a dork too) by the time he got to door, he was smiling, actually grinning for a moment, opening it for Karen to step inside.
"See? No property damages at all." Another joke in the midst of pained hearts, but it was the truth?
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Except that had been a lie. She had been blind to the truth, Foggy and Matt were lying to her, and she wasn't sure what to make of all of that. Could she understand why? Yes. Did that make it okay? She wasn't sure if it did or not. That was part of this.
So she moved to the door, standing there in the drizzle, hands clasped before her and waiting. Trying not to count the second, or to think about what was going to happen once they got upstairs. She wanted to make accusations, and she wanted to demand answers, and she was terrified that if she did either, he would disappear. How much did she need to hold within to ensure she would see him again? That was what was going through her mind when the door opened.
Forcing a smile then, and a chuckle. "I appreciate that, since I'm pretty sure I'm on my last leg with the landlord," she said. It was a joke, certainly? Wouldn't that be the case? "Come on," she said, moving for the stairs, holding out her hand to him, trusting he would sense that and know, and not have to play. Or, perhaps, she was checking to see how much he could truly sense. "I have beer in the fridge."
Damn but she needed a drink.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
He let her go inside before shutting the door behind them both, letting the grin slide off his face once she spoke, but trying to keep a pleasant enough expression. The adrenaline from jumping up, then running down the stairs, left him with a bit of a high. Then, though, the reality of what they were headed into rolled back into his chest, and he breathed out in the second her back was to him.
"I'll be sure not to break your door, either," he added, referencing the actual door into her specific apartment unit, since he assumed that that door would be locked as well. That she didn't have any of her keys.
He reached to take her hand and walk along with her, already feeling the shift in air now that they were inside, out of the rain. He didn't work to hide the self-sufficiency he actually possessed, not wanting to hide that part of himself from her anymore. Maybe it would be gentler to slowly do so, but what was the point? He'd just leaped up to a roof in ways a man shouldn't be able to.
"That'd be nice," he said, feeling like his voice fell flat, even if it hadn't. Beer sure sounded great, but it didn't make anything any better at all. Not really.
Once at her door, he looked over to her for the go-ahead to get it open as needed, which he did, smoothly and with minimal shattering of any wood at its edges, sound from getting it open loud, all the same. Then, he stepped aside to let her go in first, since it was her apartment and all, nodding just a tiny bit, smiling weakly at her.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
She waited, watching as he opened the door. "Where were you when I wanted to key my ex's car," she teased, jokes making life easier. At least she thought, even if they were lame.
"I may tell the landlord someone tried to break in tonight," she noted. "Get him to fix it for me," she said, heading for the kitchen area. The wall still showed signs of the shooting that had tried to kill her, the wall covered with pieces of plywood. "Because you can see they've been so quick on repairing the other problems," she said, coming back with two bottles.
Her eyes were red, the rim of her nose red. She looked pale and was trying to smile.
"I really...I really did think I wouldn't ever see you again," she finally whispered. "I know I didn't handle you telling me well, but I was shocked and still so confused, and..." And it had been Christmas, and she spent it alone and it had all been so much.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
He'd laughed at her joke about the keying of an ex's car, always glad for humor. That was definitely something they shared, thinking that jokes made the path of life easier. Even the lamest ones. Hell, especially those kind.
Stepping inside after her, shutting the door and locking it, deadbolt and all, his eyes scanned over the room, taking in some of its details. He watched her go toward the fridge, unable to not let his senses reach out to see, feel, how she was feeling. About like he expected her too, but going through pain with her was part of owning the mistakes he'd made in how he'd handled the two very different parts of his life.
Taking a bottle, smiling gently, he thanked her and moved over to sit at one of the chairs at the dining table. The couch would've been more comfortable, but felt a little too much like being pushy. He didn't expect for a lot of smiles and kind words once she started asking questions again, if that was what she planned to do.
Brows furrowing a tiny bit, his head just barely shook at those quiet words. "It felt like what I needed to finally do." A beat, tongue licking just so over his bottom lip. "Be completely open, just lay it down like it is. I'm sorry, that it took you by such surprise." Another pause. "But, I never would have just...not come to see you, or reached out to you, Karen. I could never do that."
Maybe none of those words helped, but were explanatory and true and felt like ones that he should say in the moment.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
So she settled in at the table, not across from him but beside, turning her chair to face him more fully, dragging it along the floor to do so. Letting him speak, considering her words as she twisted the bottle on the table, making circles with it just to try and have a focus and not panic.
"You walked away before, Matt," she said, her voice soft, fighitng to not make it accusatory but a statement of fact. Which was how she saw it. "You... you made choices, and I don't ... I can't see how they were ever supposed to be better for me. I get maybe it was easier for you that I didn't know. Then you didn't have to worry about me worrying like Foggy was, and he did, and how much he panicked with all the things with Castle and Daredevil," she said, speaking it out, trying to let him know how she felt without attacking.
"But it did nothing to help me, Matt. I thought you were an alcoholic. I thought you chose that over Foggy and me. I thought..." She stopped, voice cracking. I statements. That how they said to do it, right? NOt accusing but sharing.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
"You're right, I have -- " a beat and very soft exhale, "walked away," he answered back, affirming her words as a way to take responsibility for them, to help her see that he wasn't denying it. Letting go off the bottle then, he rested one elbow on the table's surface and leaned a little closer to her. "I didn't handle my other responsibilities in a way that I should have...I can see that. Now. A lot was going on, blinded me to what all I was really...doing." He spoke slow, quietly, having thought of how he could say all of this to her, so was able to at least speak them without falling totally apart.
It cut as this heart that she thought he was ever an alcoholic, but he wasn't going to focus on that. She was just explaining what she thought. Had thought. He could prove to her who he really was, reaffirm that he was the good guy she used to think he was. Or, hopefully still did, but was hurt by. It only took one huge mistake or lie to really break someone's trust.
Her voice cracking didn't mean it was time to make a joke, not at all, and yet, he'd paused after his words of explanation, nudging the bottle farther away from him with his elbow as he brought his arm down so it rested on the table, parallel with the edge.
"But I'd really like to give the 'Worst Friend of the Year' award back to someone else anytime, really, so." It wasn't funny, at all, and yet...he smiled a tiny bit. "Can I prove it to you, how I really feel? What I wished I had done for both of you?"
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Setting her own down, she took his hand, brought the bottle over and put his hand on the bottle. "Matt, I thought you were. Foggy let me believe that to explain why you were missing appointments and why you were always bruised and beat up," she said. "I don't think you are now, and I get why the lie worked," she said. "But you don't have to pretend now, and you don't have to deny a beer. Besides coffee, what else do we drink together?"
The three of them, always. It was a thing. They might not always have money for food, but they had a tab. Had.
"How is that then, Matt? How do you feel? What do you wish you had done?"
She couldn't say it would be okay. Not until she knew what he had to say. What he intended to do now.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Then, as she finished, mentioned the bare minimums of what all they could drink together, he let his fingers slid away from hers and back onto the bottle, sliding it back over to in front of where he sat again. "Good point, about what else besides coffee," he said lamely, both grateful and pained at hearing the true and full explanation as to why she'd ever thought he was an alcoholic.
Plus, why the hell would she have given him a beer if that was what she'd still thought? God, he needed to clear his head and focus on his friends again for once, actually and truly.
He looked down into his lap for a moment after she asked, pressing his lips together before he gave a quick exhale. You could never truly rehearse an explanation for what he needed to say, so didn't rely on any time he'd tried to do that at home. This, telling her, needed to be completely organic.
"Told you the truth. Sooner. About being the Devil of Hell's Kitchen." Lips twitching, jaw tight for a second, he knew it sounded so obvious and lame, yet it was the truth. "It would've prevented you from getting hurt, running into what you have, because of me, and...I don't know how all it makes you feel," to know that he was Daredevil, which was partly a lie since he could sense her physical reactions to it and assess accordingly, but he meant it on a much deeper level than just that. Thankfully, he wasn't additionally an actual mind-reader. "but I should've given you the chance to know more. If you wanted to."
A hard swallow and pause as he took a long drink of his beer, grateful to have it. As he lowered it, he shook his head just slightly. "When Foggy found out, it wasn't on purpose," which, hey, he still felt like shit about, okay?, "and, I think it made me block up that part of myself that thought it could be okay to try explaining it someone else, but I was wrong. It was a mistake, and...it really is, all on me. I wish I'd given you the chance to know earlier, Karen."
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Except it made sense. It answered the questions that needed answering and made more sense than a blind man, and her sweet, tender, caring boss, being the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.
Now though her mind was putting everything together, making better sense of it all, and leaving her with a million questions, not all of which she could get answers for.
Shifting as she crossed her legs, bending forward slightly, not withdrawing from Matt as she might have in the last few weeks.
"Okay, to begin with. What I have run into because of you? Is because of me being here with you and Foggy," she said, meaning it. "Don't you dare. All we've been through, Fisk and Castle and everything in between and beyond, that was my choice to be part of since the moment you and Foggy came into that room at the precinct," she said, not willing to have him make it sound like he had dragged her along. In truth, she had dragged him and Foggy into things with Fisk, and she had gotten Ben killed, and could have gotten them killed to. She wasn't letting Matt's Catholic guilt turn this into her being entirely the innocent party in this.
"And leaving us? What was that about? Why were those other people more important than Foggy and I?" Us versus them. She couldn't help it. He had turned his back and left them for all intents and purposes. "We needed you too, Matt. Foggy needed you in that courtroom. I've..." She stopped, closing her eyes and curling her hands in together, white knuckled. "I don't want to lose you, Matt. I need you. I need you both. I can't be kept out though. I can't be expected to pretend and hide and act like... like the girl you met. I'm not her anymore, Matt. None of us are."
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Which he really had been, even if his intentions to the cause of fighting crime in the city had been pure. They weren't, though he'd felt like they had been.
He edged in a little closer to her, not thinking about it, only happy to have her approaching him rather than the opposite.
His face stayed turned to her when she began explaining, already hearing the wealth of comments she intended to include in her sentences. That was good, honestly. He needed to hear them; she needed to speak them.
His jaw did go tight when she told him not to cut her out of what was essentially blame for the situations she'd gotten into too. He didn't like what she was saying, but he couldn't deny it. It was simple, easier, for him to shoulder blame and work his ideas around that. Still. She knew what he was thinking, even if he didn't realize it. He was fine, blaming himself, and apparently, she wasn't going to let that fly.
Even he could be grateful for that, with his eyes that wanted to press further on that so much more could have been prevented, if only. If. He wasn't going to get hung up on the word, nodding lightly after she finished those thoughts.
Then, she was asking for more clarification. He was happy to give that to her too. She deserved to know the big whys.
With his free hand, he waved out into the air a little, though his arm was low and near his body anyway, the gesture small. "Not all of it would've happened the same way if I'd let you both in sooner." Okay, one tiny 'if' statement. He'd needed to say it at least, since that was largely what he'd meant.
As for her questions, his lips pressed together before he continued, taking another drink before went on. "I know, I know he did, you did, Castle did." He wasn't so sure what all would have been different if he'd been there during the court proceedings, but still, "I should have been there. I know that."
With a hard press of his teeth together, he honed in on those last words she'd spoken, rewinding to them enough to really see how her hands were so tight together. If some key events in the past several months had gone differently, then he could've reached out for her hand, but instead, he touched fingers against her shoulder for a few seconds. "I don't think any of us are the same either, Karen, but we're still us. And I never want you to hide, or to pretend to be anyone, anything, never." A weak, lopsided little smile before his expression turned serious again.
"Those people?" The ones whose names she likely didn't know, probably didn't care to know, Stick and Elektra. He was glad she couldn't hear his heart, guilty for even thinking so in that moment, because it skipped a beat when his chest tightened at the thought of the woman who had decided to be good in the very end. She hadn't deserved to die. "They're not more important. I was tied up in business. With her, stuff I couldn't talk to you about at the time because I'd made the choice not to tell you about everything yet, and then that business exploded into," a heavy breath, a shake of his head, "what could've been a literal hell in our part of the city, and I needed to do what I could to stop it. But, Karen -- I wanted to do both, tried to, I mean it I really," a pause, more tightness in his chest as he blew air out, "I thought I could do both." Obviously, he'd been wrong. "I'd never meant to not be there for Foggy, for you, the case."
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
And that was a realization that hurt. Even if it hadn't been true, she hadn't done anything for him. What did that say about her in all of it as well.
Yet she was letting it all out, good and bad, and so much bad, but she wasn't going to stop herself. She had been holding things back, and she needed to put it all out on the table. From both sides, and pray they could come out on the other side at least as friends.
She knew Matt would take all the blame. He was Catholic born and raised. He was a man that had put the brunt of the damage in his world on his shoulders for a long time. She was not going to be any part of that though. Not for all of their sake. It might not be easy, but she needed that.
Yet she considered that, head canting, peering at him a moment. "I will let you have that," she said. "Though, you can't know for sure, except..." She paused. Could she say this? "Maybe we wouldn't have all lost one another if you had. But we can't know that either, Matt. We just can't."
Which was when she shook her head, making a sound of protest for his sake. "Matt, you owe those words to Foggy. He was the one that was let down, he was the one that was amazing and strong, and everything I knew he could be, but he didn't want to. He had to." She would fight for Foggy will before herself. Always.
She let him talk though, quiet and listening. Watching him for a long time without a word.
"I won't stand for it again," she said at length, her voice so soft even as she put her foot down. "I can't. I can't..." Her voice cracked and she closed her eyes, holding her breath to try and pull herself back together. "We're not still us, Matt. We're not an us, and I hate that. I hate that it feels like I've lost you both. And you're not the only one who thinks they should just ... leave, pretend, not be there because of what they could cause to others. You're not the only one, Matt. If any of Castle's unit is still alive, they might know my face. I was a huge part of that trial and seen with him if anyone from the gangs come from him and..."
And then she couldn't. She couldn't do this. She had to though.
"I know who killed James Wesley, and one day Fisk is going to figure that out as well," she said in a rush, not saying it directly, not sure if she could.
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil
Re: Karen Page | Daredevil