memezilla | Denny's Meme

[so Denny's has this contest going on. if you can eat 100 pancakes, your meal is free. the rules of the contest are simple: eat the pancakes. you can use as much syrup and butter as you like, but you can only drink water. simple enough, right?

Jyushimatsu has never been to a Denny's, but he heard the words pancake-eating contest and decided this was what he wanted to do. his brothers say it's an impossible challenge. things are getting set up for him right now. does anyone else want to try?]

[ Crowley usually doesn't eat that much, mostly because he didn't actually need to eat, but he had his orders. Win the gluttony challenge to show that it was possible and get the humans to keep challenging it. So Crowley took a seat right next to the other challenger, still wearing his sunglasses (of course), and ordered the challenge pancakes. Too bad he couldn't drink a bottle of wine with it. ]

[eh? what's this? a challenger appears! Jyushi eyes this guy, sizing him up. what's he doing wearing sunglasses indoors, and at night? he must be as painful as Karamatsu-niisan. Jyushi was going to wipe the floor with him]

Hi! [his voice is loud, enthusiastic even though it's 3am] I'm Jyushimatsu!

[ He learned that people freaked out less if he wore his sunglasses. It's not like he actually needed light to see. ]

Crowley. [ He wasn't used to being noticed. But that was part of his orders. He really really wished he could start off the night with a drink. Oh, look here comes the first stack of pancakes for both of them. ] I don't lose. [ but you're more than welcome to try and beat him. ]

[Jyushi's eyes light up at the sight of the pancakes, and then he gives Crowley a competitive grin]

I don't lose either! Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle! [a quick arm-pump and then he's tearing into the first stack om nom nom]

[ Humans always impress Crowley. He takes a drink of water before cutting into the first stack and shoving it into his mouth, a bit quieter. He chews and swallows. ]

I don't think they'll take them away from you. [ slow down before you choke. ]

[fool! there is no time to talk during an epic pancake battle! in no time at all, Jyushi is finished with that first stack, and the whole first glass of water. he sighs loudly, patting his stomach as he leans back in his chair. taking a short rest, waiting for the next stack. it looks like the waitresses didn't know he would gulp down ten pancakes that fast]

Pancakes are sure yummy! It's been forever since I last had one!

[ Crowley's only half way through his first stack. He's actually impressed. ]

Would you like to put a further wager on the outcome of this battle? [ He takes a sip of water before digging in to the rest of the stack. ]

[aw man, where are those brothers at? they all love gambling!]

What kind? [he bounces in his seat. well, if they didn't come here to support him, he'd take all the winnings for himself. aw yea]

[ Crowley didn't even have to tempt Jyushimatsu. Crowley wasn't going to bet on who would make it to 100 first, though, if Jyushimatsu didn't pace himself, Crowley didn't believe he would make it. Crowley finished of his first stack. ]

Don't start eating the second stack until mine comes out. But I wager, I could eat the second stack faster.

[HMMMM. on first glance, this seems like an easy win. but Jyushimatsu doesn't think he'll be able to eat the second stack as fast as he ate the first one. he's not full, but he isn't hungry anymore. those pancakes are starting to grow in his stomach.

but still, he might be able to eat faster than this guy, with his indoor sunglasses. he looks around for a second, trying to spot his brothers. no one around, then back to Crowley] You're on!

[ Crowley knows he's going to regret this, but this will be an easy win for him. ]

And what should the prize be?

[Jyushi was thinking money. but wait... he could bid on anything! what about beer? or xxx magazines?

...well, he could use money to buy those things] 5000 yen! [money trumps all!]

[ Money could indeed buy those things. Crowley does a bit of mental math, he's used to the British pound when he uses money. What was the current exchange rate something like 150 to 160 yen to the pound? So about 31 to 34 pounds? ]

Agreed. [ He holds out his hand, of course you need to shake on a formal bet. ]

[oh, yes! a shake! Jyushimatsu's hand is covered by his long sleeve, but he's got a good grip anyway. he's really excited! he's gonna win 5000 yen!

hopefully. because that's probably all he has right now.

and it looks like the next round of pancakes is making its way out. a stack of ten for each man. okay, Jyushimatsu warms up his arms. why? who knows. he's getting in the zone, or something]

[ Poor soon to be broke Jyushimatsu, you do not know what you're dealing with. Crowley picks up the knife and fork. It's probably not a good idea to shove the entire stack in his mouth in one bite... that would be too bizarre for the humans to handle, though he could do it. ]

Ready? [ the stacks are set down. As soon as they say go, he'll cut his stack into quarters. ]

[Jyushi could stuff the whole stack in his mouth too! he's a gag-anime character from a series that breaks rules and fourth-walls on a regular basis. but he'll play fair tonight]

Ready! [with fork and knife in hand, he takes another breath. then, when the waitress tells them to go, his arms are a flurry as he shovels bite after bite into his mouth NOM NOM NOM]

[ Crowley shoves a whole quarter of the stack into his mouth and doesn't give more than two chews before swallowing it pretty much whole. There is something to be said about snakes and their eating habits. The second quarter disappears much the same way. Crowley knows he's going to regret doing this, he's already regretting the fact he ate so many pancakes, but orders are orders and there goes his third quarter.

And... ] Done. [ there went the fourth. Nothing left but a small amount of syrup. He finishes off a glass of water, maybe he'll sleep for a week after this night. ]

[the sound of Crowley's voice comes as a complete surprise to Jyushimatsu. he only had a few bites left, and he slowly turns his head to stare at the other man. no, that was impossible! inhuman]

...! H-how did you do that?

[ It was definitely inhuman, more like a snake than a human. ]

I opened my mouth and put food in. [ oh yes, he's laughing about it. ]

[no waaaaay! this creep is not allowed to laugh! Jyushimatsu finishes the last few bites grimly. damn, he's out 5000 yen]

Edited (too many he's) 2016-04-03 07:21 (UTC)

[ Oh, but Crowley was definitely going to laugh. The waitresses are in shock. They have now devoured 20 pancakes, each, and the second stack went faster than the first. It was probably a good thing, for Crowley, that Aziraphale was not here. The angel would definitely feel a need to thwart Crowley, and probably win Jyushimatsu's money back. ]

[Jyushimatsu sure could use an angel. while they are waiting for the third stack, he takes out his wallet, and the fifty yen, and slides it over to the other man. ughhhh now he's in a bad mood, and there are still so many pancakes to eat!]

[ Crowley takes the money and folds it neatly into a wallet that seems to completely disappear when he puts it back into his suit. ]

Still going for 100?

[GOODBYE MONEY. gambled it awayyyyyy]

I am! I don't have any money left, so I have to win! [his chin is resting on the tabletop as the plates are cleared away]

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