TFLN

[memezillamods]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
You know the drill

Comments

Maria Selwyn // Harry Potter (MWPP-era) OC // OTA! //

[aphotic_auror]

1. Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.

2. Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?

3. It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.

4. I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.

5. Christ Jesus, I forgot how flexible one has to be to take a decent sex-ting picture!

5 because why not

[ilovemymurderer]

why are you even trying in the first place? either you don't like your partner very much or you are eager to share them with everyone else--equally creepy and awkward.

LOL! I love it! ;)

[aphotic_auror]

Sorry, but-- WHAT!? What makes you think that I want to share my partner with bloody EVERYONE!

I meant, like, sending him an appropriately sexy picture! Of myself! That's all!

[ilovemymurderer]

Do you even recognize the number you're texting talking about flexibility for "sex-ting"?

Not something you say to all your friends as a casual conversation starter.

[aphotic_auror]

3 + 1: No, I'm afraid I DO NOT actually recognise this number— although I am drunk enough to tell you just WHAT that area code means, numerological-speaking, really! I mean, seriously? 623 is such a beautiful number in Arithmancy, it really IS...

Who's this, anyway?

[ilovemymurderer]

Arithmancy? Are you at a halloween party? It is the April.

Bella. Who is this?

((OMG some SERIOUS MISUNDERSTANDINGS coming your way! ;) ))

[aphotic_auror]

Halloween party? Why the hell would we have a Halloween party last into bloody APRIL!?

OMG! Bella!? As in-- Bellatrix Black-Lestrange? OMG! What is my life? How did you get this number, anyway? How did I get YOUR number?!

This is AUROR Maria Selwyn, and I'm not God, I swear to DRUNK, to take you down if you come near me right now...

[ilovemymurderer]

Like I have any clue. April Halloween parties are about as mysterious as continuing to text someone you don't know about your sex life. Or in general.

. . .Who the hell is Bellatrix Lestrange? It's Bella. You know, Bella Swan. New girl in town. Might have heard someone call me Arizona?

[ Geez she thought she left teenagers getting wasted back in Phoenix. Hopefully Charlie doesn't catch wind of whatever party this girl is at. ]

[aphotic_auror]

... Oh!

I'm so sorry, ducky; I didn't know that you were new in town!

Well, welcome to London, I s'pose... It can be nice, depending on where exactly you land; but seriously: stay away from my part of town, even if you aren't Bella Lestrange, because I happen to live in a really CRUMMY part of town!

[ilovemymurderer]

[ Should she respond? While she was here on exchange, and coming into her own a bit more socially, she did not think her first encounter with someone from London over text would be someone else's drunk accident. ]

. . .Lady, you should really drink some water. Do you want me to call you a cab? I have plenty of money.

[ Carlisle made sure of that regardless of her vehemently refusing until he shoved the credit card in her wallet as she got on the plane. ]

Do you know where you are?