memezillamods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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memezilla2016-04-02 02:29 am
memezillamods) wrote in memezilla2016-04-02 02:29 am
Entry tags:
TFLN
TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
You know the drill
TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
You know the drill
1. Use "feeling words".
2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how concerned should I be?
3. You can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. Your choice.
4. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
5. [Text her!]
2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how concerned should I be?
3. You can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. Your choice.
4. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
5. [Text her!]
I wouldn't go higher then like a 7? 8 if you're already having a bad day.
1: just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing...
2: She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
3: I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
4: Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
2: She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
3: I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
4: Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Edited 2016-04-02 18:10 (UTC)
I don't have one of those, but that does explain what happened to the phone I lost last night. Gross.
1. If I'm not back tomorrow, call the embassy.
2. I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair.
3. I beat every guy in the bar at arm wrestling and did a happy dance on the bar then went home with two girls. How was your night?
4. Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
5. I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
2. I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair.
3. I beat every guy in the bar at arm wrestling and did a happy dance on the bar then went home with two girls. How was your night?
4. Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
5. I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Find the right occupation, pet, and they'll even pay you for the pleasure.
1) I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
2)He asked if I had any questions. Apparently "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3) I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
4) I have this theory that you highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet.
2)He asked if I had any questions. Apparently "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3) I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
4) I have this theory that you highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet.
It usually isn't, even when it does deserve to be asked.
OMG YES! =) ♥ I hope you don't mind an OC from your fandom; she's answering #1, incidentally! ;)
aphotic_auror
- 2016-04-02 19:26 (UTC) - ExpandHai you! ; ) ♥♥♥ AWESOME Sirius you've got going here, by the way... x D
aphotic_auror
- 2016-04-02 20:14 (UTC) - Expand1. She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
2. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3. Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
4. How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance?
5. Text him!
2. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3. Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
4. How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance?
5. Text him!
False. False false false. Regular raspberry are incredible.
1) I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butted the bar and busted my lip open.
2)YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS.
3)You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
4)Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
2)YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS.
3)You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
4)Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Er... I'm really not that drunk yet, merci beaucoup!
1) Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book.
2) It was a tough decision, either lay in bed, or go to work and lay in the stockroom.
3) We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping cart. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
4) ..... I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
5) Do I even want to know? (aka Text him)
2) It was a tough decision, either lay in bed, or go to work and lay in the stockroom.
3) We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping cart. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
4) ..... I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
5) Do I even want to know? (aka Text him)
1) Dude, what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
2) I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
3) I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
4) I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
2) I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
3) I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
4) I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If there's one thing I have learned its that bitchiness isn't a limited resource and you will always have another chance to use more of it.
1. Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
2. I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
3. You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
4. I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
5. Text him!
2. I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
3. You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
4. I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
5. Text him!
1. I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
2. can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
3. Sorry about my life...
2. can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
3. Sorry about my life...
1. I've just had my first cup of coffee today and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
2. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3. I was just told I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
2. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3. I was just told I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
1. What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
2. I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
3. Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
4. Text him!
2. I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
3. Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
4. Text him!
1. I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
2. I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
3. No, i'm proud of you. This is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
4. I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off.
2. I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
3. No, i'm proud of you. This is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
4. I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off.
and we're all really proud of you, Levi
wait a second does that mean you're taking OTHER people's pants off?
do they... know you're going to do that?
wait a second does that mean you're taking OTHER people's pants off?
do they... know you're going to do that?
1. quadriplegic porn is always funny
2. they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
3. if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
4. Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
2. they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
3. if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
4. Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Edited 2016-04-02 19:43 (UTC)
1. Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
2. Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
3. It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
4. I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
5. Christ Jesus, I forgot how flexible one has to be to take a decent sex-ting picture!
2. Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
3. It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
4. I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
5. Christ Jesus, I forgot how flexible one has to be to take a decent sex-ting picture!
why are you even trying in the first place? either you don't like your partner very much or you are eager to share them with everyone else--equally creepy and awkward.
((OMG some SERIOUS MISUNDERSTANDINGS coming your way! ;) ))
aphotic_auror
- 2016-04-03 21:05 (UTC) - Expand1. Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
2. I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder.
3. Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
4. You kept saying ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical Latin. You are one intelligent drunk.
5. send your own!
2. I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder.
3. Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
4. You kept saying ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical Latin. You are one intelligent drunk.
5. send your own!
You really ought to try and get me to do Greek next time.
1. If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
2. I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
3. So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
4. Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
5. send your own!
2. I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
3. So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
4. Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
5. send your own!
What are Star Wars bobbleheads, and do I really need to bury them with you? I mean, it's not like you can take 'em with you, after all, and they could really be enjoyed more by ME, right here, right now!
Especially if I lose you to whatever stupid stunt you're plotting now... :(
Especially if I lose you to whatever stupid stunt you're plotting now... :(
can you put a coffee maker in the dishwasher? you know what, nvm i want to be surprised
or prev taggers continue any from yesterday.
or prev taggers continue any from yesterday.
1. Just move with us. We wanted to get a dog. You're kind of the same thing.
2. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3. Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
4. text her
2. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
3. Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
4. text her
1. IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
2. I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
3. But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
4. you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
5. send your own!
*shot. Why
2. I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
3. But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
4. you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
5. send your own!
1. On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
2. I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
3. Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
4. Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
5. send your own!
2. I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
3. Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
4. Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
5. send your own!
Alcohol won't wash away the amount of shame you've managed to accumulate by dating yourself. How old are you again?
[ Leave it to an impossible old Norse god to make fun of someone else's age. ]
Out of curiosity, what was the story?
[ Leave it to an impossible old Norse god to make fun of someone else's age. ]
Out of curiosity, what was the story?
1. He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
2. You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
3. You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
4. Listen. Just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. I do it at least three times a week.
5. send your own!
2. You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
3. You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
4. Listen. Just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. I do it at least three times a week.
5. send your own!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I DIDNT go thEE SPEED LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
ISit A PROBLEM THAT I usED YOU AS MY EMERGENCY CONTACT MISTER COBBLEPOT???
I DIDNT go thEE SPEED LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
ISit A PROBLEM THAT I usED YOU AS MY EMERGENCY CONTACT MISTER COBBLEPOT???
1. Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
2. We did a shot for each one. Father... Son... and Holy Ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
3. FYI: pepper spray hurts. Whoever comes up with the best cover story wins a prize.
4. Well, his arm's broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
5. send your own!
2. We did a shot for each one. Father... Son... and Holy Ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
3. FYI: pepper spray hurts. Whoever comes up with the best cover story wins a prize.
4. Well, his arm's broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
5. send your own!
you smelled like a dirty drunk. doused yourself in what you thought was a bottle of axe. and the rest is history.
(deleted comment)
1: What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts?
2: so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
3: I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Or you send the text!
2: so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
3: I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Or you send the text!
1: i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
2: You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
3: That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Or you send the text!
2: You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
3: That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Or you send the text!
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