TFLN

[memezillamods]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
You know the drill

Comments

[goodwoofjames]

well then i won't drink!
i'll give you a ride on my bike and you can get as poetically smashed as you like

[A few minutes later:]

you aren't allowed to revenge vomit on my bike

[singloversing]

Ew, why would I want to throw up on purpose??
That's like terrible revenge.
But um
I'll think about it, I guess. Maybe. The drink I mean, not everything else.

[Meaning yes, just drag him along if you really want to make it happen.]

[goodwoofjames]

you have a point.
wait do you not want to ride on my bike?
it's wicked why wouldn't you

[singloversing]

Because it's wicked
Like, in the bad way.
I'm pretty sure it's a death trap?
Death by motorcycle doesn't sound like a great time.

[goodwoofjames]

i'm not going to kill you with my motorcycle!
and it's not as if it can get into a crash.

[singloversing]

It could definitely still crash into something.
Like the ground. When we plummet to our deaths.

[goodwoofjames]

are you suggesting i would drive us into the ground while flying sober?
you know i use it all the time.

[singloversing]

Yeah, but knowing my luck, the one time I get on it will be the time you get in a fiery wreck.
I don't really feel like testing fate like that.

[goodwoofjames]

have you ever considered whether your supposed bad luck starts with your belief that you have bad luck?

[singloversing]

Well, no, but that's because I tend to look at things and go
"wow no that's a terrible idea"
and so I never have to actually deal with bad luck. I just cut it off at the pass like, immediately.

[goodwoofjames]

Along with all the good luck.
And attractive people you could potentially kiss.

[singloversing]

Wow what those are two TOTALLY different things and not at all related in any way.

[goodwoofjames]

i believe some muggle once said
something something you only lose shots that you don't take.

[singloversing]

That's definitely not true.
You lost all the shots YOU took. You lost them all over your shirt.
And then hugged me.

[goodwoofjames]

ha
ha
HA
HAHA
and we return to the crux of the matter
i owe you something
i can be an awesome wingman

[singloversing]

Uh.
That's okay.
You really, REALLY don't have to.
The drink is enough.

[Someone has no faith in Sirius' wingman abilities whatsoever.]

[goodwoofjames]

but you'd be all relaxed with the drink
and then i set you up with a lovely bird or bloke of your choosing
talk you up first of course
and then you don't even need the bike to feel something amazing between your legs

[singloversing]

[A lovely bird brings back memories of a former bird with a not-so-lovely personality, but he shakes his head. Get a grip. That's not what he meant.]

This still sounds like a bad idea.
I don't need a wingman. Really.
REALLY.
So please don't.

[goodwoofjames]

well i've got the bike and the social skills to offer as recompense
and not much else
so let me know which you'd prefer