memezilla | Denny's Meme

[She brought a bit of booze for impromptu screwdrivers.]

[ this isn't a bar, right? soleil swears it isn't a bar. but here is a pretty girl at the counter with booze, so bar rules must apply, right? that means she is obligated to buy the lady a drink.

the drink being chocolate milk. and the waiter behind the counter obviously thinks this is stupid. but anything goes at a denny's at 3 in the morning.

she is going to smile and wave. this totally has to work, right? ]

[ Not a bar, no. And it's not like Roxy is being all that obvious about it. She ordered her giant waffle with every sort of fruit and chocolate and whipped topping on it, got her orange juice, and then surreptitiously tipped her flask into it.

And then the waiter puts a glass of chocolate milk down in front of her. Roxy opens her mouth to--well not protest, because like hell she's gonna protest chocolate milk--before the waiter rolls his eyes and gestures towards a girl down the bar.

Roxy grins and waves her over.]

Oh my god. Oh my god. You're the freaking best.

[ yes, she has an in! she didn't expect that to work. then again, though Soleil noticed the flask, she didn't notice just how much got into that orange juice...but she will hope that doesn't have anything to do with it.

she practically leaps from her stool and onto the one beside the girl. ]

Heehee. I just saw you enjoying your breakfast and noticed the complete lack of chocolate milk. I hope it wasn't too forward of me to help out there.

I mean. [She's fought off giant rooks and knights on stone horseback, all while slamming back little pick-me-ups. Talking to a cute girl with a badass sword? Easy peasy even while tipsy.]. Technically it's dinner? Or, uh, maaaaybe lunch. Idk if pop tarts count as a meal or not.

No, no, breakfast is a state of mind. Well, and a state of waffles.

[ A pause. She isn't the type to beat around the bush or be misleading, so... ]

Ah, I've got to come clean. I'm so used to buying cute girls drinks that when I saw you I just couldn't help myself.

You.

[Roxy waves a hand, movements loose and free, the telltale sign that she's had a bit much. She points at Soleil.] You. I like your style.

[The little bit of flirtation causes her cheeks to pinken--past what they were, anyway--and Roxy's lips curl up into a satisfied smile.} Oh-em-gee, you're too much. I've gotta repay the favor, kk? No, hush--[She actually reaches out to put a finger on Soleil's lips.] No objections. Let Mama Roxy do her thing.

Waitman! Uh, OJ for my new bff, please. Lots of it.

[That waiter is going to hate them by the end of this. But now that she is actually talking to Roxy, Soleil has essentially tuned him out entirely separate she will be totally oblivious. She raises an eyebrow and giggles, considering she wouldn't think to turn down her offer.]

Whoa, promoted to BFF already? I usually move pretty fast but that might be a new record even for me.

[She gets the orange juice and shoves a straw into it. Because now is not the time to drink like an adult.]

Calling you "mama" is definitely too fast. I'll stick with "Roxy" for now. Heh heh. You can just call me Soleil.

[ The giant Denny's sign had a a faulty lightbulb causing the giant neon "D" to blink on and off in an erratic rhythm. Terezi was rather enjoying smelling this strobing light show reflecting off the rain slick pavement outside the restaurant. The light smelt buttery. Or that could just be the outrageous stack of pancakes wobbling back and forth on her plate as she pushed around the human breakfast food with a four pronged utensil. Terezi wasn't sure why she was here. Maybe because she was feeling a bit hungover, even though she spent the day trying to sleep it away. She rarely drank, but Kanaya had thrown such a nice party and it could hardly be helped that Terezi and Vriska got into a vicious drinking contest over who could swallow the most grub liquor and live to tell the tale. (For the record, it was a victory for team Pyrope. Terezi was relishing the memory of Vriska's outrage. Too delicious.) The food wasn't exactly helping relieve the pressure headache behind her eyes, but she figured it wasn't hurting her either.

That's when her nostrils picked up the distinct smell of booze. Sweet, sweet, booze. Food and rest was definitely for suckers when you could just do away with a headache with more alcohol.

Terezi turned around in her seat and tapped Roxy on her shoulder. ]

Psst, how much for the goods?

[She wasn't really expecting much in the way of company, or even to have a date. Roxy had pulled an all-nighter (more like an all weeker tbh), finishing up a ROM hack. Bam, complete rewrite of the Super Mario World code to incorporate the flipping mechanics from VVVVVV? And sprite changes to bringing Wizardy Herbert characters? Don't mind if she fucking does. It meant a cause for celebration.

Which left her alone at Denny's, because everybody else was busy. Honestly, the poopiest party poopers who ever pooped a party, the whole lot of them.

When she's tapped on the shoulder, she jumps up a bit, but then leans her head , gazing at Terezi upside-down. Roxy grins.]

Hatbrowns. Hashbuns. [Cough.] Hashbrowns.

[ Terezi grins right back, glad that Roxy hadn't pretended to not know what she was referring to. This might be a most fortunate trade! Without further ado Terezi slides out of her booth and flops down across the table from Roxy. With a dramatic flourish, the troll pulls out her wallet and started flipping through some crumpled bills. ]

Hashbrowns are the one thing I can provide. You may have as many as you like. Have all the hashbrowns.

But!

I want a coke with exactly 4.13 oz of your product.

[ She stops. Thinks about that for a moment. ]

Maybe just 2 oz. We can take this slow.

Good. I want a mountain that's like--[She holds her head a solid three inches above her plate.] That high. With a river of Siracha, drowning all the little huts and peoples on Mount Taters.

[She was going for hot chocolate with Bailey's, personally, but she can accommodate that. Roxy grins and brings a disguised bottle of rum out of her sylladex, flashes it to Terezi before setting it on the seat next to her, out of sight of any passing waiter.]

Whoa, that's a load of milkbeast manure, lady. I'm not some sort of like...shitty enabler. Only the best quality, you hear? Four point one three and not a drop less.

[ Terezi nods. She approves mightily of Siracha. This human girl has good taste. ]

Then your Mount Tater people shall despair, because that is what you will get.

[ Terezi waves a tired looking waitress down and places Roxy's order. Once the waitress finishs scribbling "One fuckton of hasbrowns and one large coke" down on her grubby note pad and walks away, Terezi sits back and lets her eyebrows raise above her red tinted glasses. This was turning out to be surprising after all! ]

I'd hate to insult you, so I will be gracious and allow this unruly amount of alcohol transaction. 4.13 is after all, the best number and will get me 'hella' wasted.

[ Terezi was misjudging how much it would actually take to get her drunk again. But it was details. Should she ask what type of alcohol this blonde haired chick had? Did it matter? No, not really. There was only one way to get this depressing 3 am Denny's party going and that was recklessly endangering one's liver. ]

Fuck 'em. Should have lavished me with more praise. Cookies and cocktails and gay wizard fanfiction. [Normally, Roxy might take a bit more of a tactile approach with a stranger, rather than dropping her slash habit out there like that. But fuck it, it's late and she's tired and high on victory. And also her third impromptu cocktail.]

You're being like, the fucking guardian of the potatoes, though. Making sure that all of my godhood dreams come true. I like your style, pointy.

[As she speaks, Roxy starts to measure out the agreed-upon offer. She carries a measuring flask with her, of course she does, just for occasions like this. When she's finished, the amber rum is sitting between the two in an Erlenmeyer, like the chalice of the Holy Grail.]

So. Is this a fun night or a rough night?

[ Terezi has to dig through her thinkpan for a moment to remember what the significance of the word 'gay' is. Humans sure liked to categorize weird things! She supposes this might be a scandalous confession of some sort. This calls for another eye brow waggle. ]

Understandable! Who doesn't want a heap of praise and gooey flushed romance fiction.

[ Nepeta, probably. Terezi always was more of a roaring, mighty dragon sort of gal. But the nickname pointy has her! That is too cute. Terezi grins a grin that's all rows of shark like teeth. She is enjoying this conversation very much. ]

I will take care of all your dreams, sister. That's the arrangement we have.

[ Terezi sniffs out the scene before her. Like all alcohol it makes her nose feel dusty, like the need to sneeze the potent smell away. The troll girl tips the Erlenmeyer to her lips, experimentally and pulls a face once she tastes the goods. Definitely needs coke. She lays the flask on the seat out of view just as the waitress appears with the soda and a plate of steaming, delicious hashbrowns. Only once the waitress is gone does Terezi tip all of the rum into her glass. ]

This is a combination night, I believe. I am heinously hungover but I had pancakes, so really it's hard to tell which emotion is winning. What about you?

[Oh right, defeated again by wacky cultural misunderstandings. Normally she's better about that--maybe the third cocktail was one too many. Roxy considers her drink for a moment, contemplates switching to water, and shrugs. What's life without risk.]

Now just where in the flippity fuck did I say it was flushed? [She grins back. Fandom has gotten so much more interesting now that troll romance (she's been pushing to call it trollmance, but nobody's biting) is wildly accepted in her circles.]

You provide the dreams, and I'll be the Don of All Things Lush. We're--we're doing this.

[Roxy resettles a bit in the booth, surveying the pointy, sunglasses-wearing troll in front of her. She can't help but burst into a fit of snickering at Terezi's bluh face. Nobody can beat Roxy in a stone-faced drink-off. She is simply the best there is. She grabs the bottle of Siracha and up-ends it over the mountain of hashbrowns which is somehow even more impressive than she imagined.]

Celebratin'. Would've done it with friends, but they're all--[She rolls her knuckles and flaps her hand]--'n shit.

[ Terezi raises an eyebrow at the implication that this hypothetical story is wandering outside the norm of human relationships. Suddenly this seems a tad more interesting. ]

These gay wizards are caliginous, then? All the humans I know are rather uncomfortable with this concept. Tell me more.

[ Terezi cackles and goes for a high-five. ]

Fuck yes! We will have a rude party, right here in this Denny's.

[ Terezi doesn't seem to be bothered by Roxy's laughter, instead focusing on the burst of spicy goodness of Siracha. She could swipe her fingers through the other girl's plate, but manners are important. She resists. She swishes the ice around in her newly spiked drink before taking a long drink. That's the good shit. ]

Yes, friends can be like that. Especially when you beat their eight fold ass in a drink off!

[ Sluuuuurp. ]

What are you celebrating?

Edited 2016-04-06 02:41 (UTC)

[Don't get her started on gay wizards. Do not get Roxy Lalonde started on wizards of any sort.]

Look you just gotta find the right human. Hatesex isn't the most common thing here but in the glorious land of fanfiction, anything is possible.

[She grins and high fives, smacking Terezi's palm hard enough that her own hand stings.]

Bottoms up, girlfriend. [She toasts--cheers, slainte, l'chaim, all of those blessings used to preface getting shitfaced.]

Being the best fucking cutie patootie hacker queen the 'net ever saw. Nbd.

[ Terezi nods along while drinking. A nice tingly feeling was starting to take root at the bottom of her horns and travelling down to her arms. Her headache was fucking off with it, which in itself was glorious. ]

Fanfiction does indeed sound like a glorious place is it allows black romance for humans. I would hate for your race to miss out on the intricacies of a good rivalry! It is the best.

[ Or would be if she wasn't quadrantless. But it was a small detail.

Terezi shook her also stinging hand and laughed a bit. Girl can hit hard! She mightily approved. ]

A hacker? I know a guy like that. He is cool, sometimes. What were you hacking.

[ She drops her voice into a conspirator whisper. ]

I hope it was him.

[Roxy, for her part, has only just started to pass the threshold from 'tipsy' and into 'drunk.' It's been a slow night. Her cheeks are pink, and she's smiling a lot. Little silly smirks and more broad, gap-toothed grins.]

I knooooooow right? Like it had been kinda there back in the day, but then fic writers started to actually pay attention to troll romance in like, other stuff. And - [Her hands mime blowing up, and Roxy mouths pchoooo] - fuckin everywhere.

[Roxy snorts, but rolls her eyes.]

Ugh, some king douchecanoe bet me that I couldn't rewrite the code for Super Mario from scratch in seven days. Blew him out of the water, now he's gonna have to sing Squiddles song in a dress. [As per the deal. twinArmaggedon can choke on her non-existent bulge.]

[ Terezi nods like she understands any of this. ]

Other stuff? That sounds proverbially juicy.

[ Her glass is getting emptier now. Her buzz is getting acquainted with her think pan making Terezi more giggly than usual. ]

Hahaha, I would pay to see pictures of this. Please tell me you will have photographic evidence to share.

[An empty glass, well that won't do at all. Roxy doesn't even ask, she just pours a substantial amount of rum into her new bee-eff-eff's glass, takes a quick swig straight from the bottle, and hides it away.]

They're gonna be fuckin everywhere, trust me. Wait like a week and the news is gonna be reporting on this hot new meme of some double-horned troll dorkass in a megahot dress.

Oh, fuck, you've got a name? Mine's Roxy. [It's suddenly very important for her to follow decorum and learn about her new drinking buddy.]

Why thank you!

[ Terezi grins broadly and swishes her new wares around in the bottom of the glass. No way she can ask for a refill now. She's just going to have to troll up and drink it straight. Like Gog intended. ]

My friend happens to be double horned, so I will happily project my own glee on to your victim. I will work hard to make sure I am producing the most top quality memes with the image, in your honour.

[ It'll be a pleasant surprise when she finds out Sollux was bested by a human. This party hard, funny, pink human. ]

Hello, Roxy. My name is Terezi.

[ She extends a hand for shaking, that's the usual human way, right? ]

[Well if she asks really nicely, Roxy could probably order a mixer for her. Or even provide one.]

See? This is why I like you, you're fuckin productive. Busy little, uh--[She gestures blankly at Terezi, only then realizing that those red glasses weren't for show.] Busy troll lawyer chick.

[Roxy's a touch too far gone to realize the potential connection between Terezi's friend and twinArmaggedons. It's been a long week.]

Terezi! Rezi! I like it. [Grin, hand, shake, STRONG grip.]

Troll lawyer! That is me.

[ Terezi plucks at the front of the sweater she's wearing with the words "Alternia Law" stamped across the chest. Most people might think it's tacky to wear your school's apparel outside of campus (especially when at Denny's) but it is a lot better than Terezi's usual dragon clad t-shirts. At least this wasn't cringe worthy.

Terezi tries to subtly massage her hand after the STRONG handshake. This girl was more jacked than she looked. ]

Many people call me Rezi. Even TZ. I don't think I can do the same for Roxy, though. RX just does not have the same ring to it, I'm sad to say.

Denny's Meme

Roxy Lalonde l Homestuck | OTA

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happy post 4/13, friend

what a ride. sorry i'm late.

np!

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