Jail Cell Mee

[memezillamods]

The Jail Cell Meme

 
"What are you in for?"

Maybe you've only been arrested, or you've been convicted. 
Holding cell, prison cell, your choice.
There's now bars between you and the outside world.
Hope you like your cell mate.
And your guards.

Comments

[of_the_rat_variety]

Bilford Boggin, you're kidding me! And I was saying you were talking out of your ass! I'm sorry. Except I'm not.

[stoogesofsanfran]

I ain't kiddin'. Finn's luck's always been shit, but it really bottomed out that time.



Chow, I'm gonna strangle ye!



[Yeah, guess who's still snickering?]

C'mon Finn, try turnin' the other cheek for once.

[of_the_rat_variety]

Did it like talking shit?

[stoogesofsanfran]

Like ya wouldn't believe. First thing it said was "bow before my mighty form."



But no way was we bowin' to Finn's bum.



Fer the record, I hate all of ye.

[Back to the bottle he goes.]

[of_the_rat_variety]

It's not nearly hot enough for that! [She's now brining the food to the table and setting it down, then getting utensils. Yes, she has them. She's not a barbarian.]

Maybe after some hell fire. [She summons a small flame on her thumb briefly before letting it flicker out.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

Had enough'a demon fire fer a lifetime, thank ye. An' there ain't no need ta be throwin' insults just 'cause me bum's off limits.



Can't deny yer a stick figure, Finn. Real good thing ya ain't skippin' dinner.

[of_the_rat_variety]

[She doles out the utensils, using a fork to poke at Finn before setting it down for him.] Double portions for you, hot rod.

[She sits as well,] And if any of you want to say grace, go ahead so I can rip off your lips and sacrifice them to the god of your choosing.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Like were in a position ta guess which gods might be real or made up at this point. Probably all assholes, anyway.



I dunno, Santa's probably a decent guy.



[Snatching that fork. And yes, he is pretty scrawny under his two sets of sleeves.]

True 'nuff, anyone that sends Daolon Wrong packin' with bruises ain't so bad in my book.

[of_the_rat_variety]

I don't know if Santa counts as a god. But if he is real, that explains the lack of Christmas presents.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Aye, Santa's real alright. And powerful 'nuff that the ol' prune bag wanted his chi.



That's how we'd know he was evil. Yanno, if we didn't already from all the enslavin' and torturin' and whatnot.



Yanno, we never did find out how that went down.

[of_the_rat_variety]

And here I thought I just had a shitty parent!

[stoogesofsanfran]

Ain't nobody shittier than Daolon Wong.



Not even Shendu.



I dunno, Tarakudo wasn't so consistently bad, but when he was shitty, he was awful.

[of_the_rat_variety]

I was still talking about why I didn't get Christmas presents.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Oh. Nope, that was Santa tryin' ta tell ya somethin', alright.



Can be surprisin', findin' out which'a the old wives' tales are true, huh?

[He probably shouldn't be taking another drink of tequila before he starts eating. But he is.]

[of_the_rat_variety]

Not so surprising when you grow up with necromancers for parents. [She's digging in.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

Yeah, that'd do it.

[He's already been shoveling food into his mouth. Big guy, big appetite.]



Bit more surprisin' when yer folks thought magic was a bunch'a baloney.



Even when they don't, ye never know which've the legends is real. Never did see any proof of 'em 'til I was grown.

[of_the_rat_variety]

[She waves her hands to some of the artefacts and spell components around the room. There's some eyeballs in a jar that look way too big to be from any 'normal' creature.] My parents used to say that there's truth to every legend.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Startin' ta think they got the right idea.



Considerin' we've seen stuff from all over the place.



Jes' be glad we were in and outta Ireland. Don' wanna find out what's true and what ain't about faeries.

[of_the_rat_variety]

[She laughs,] I don't know, but their wings are really potent.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Ain't pixies I'm worried about.



Well, good thing we's gonna be stayin' right here in America from now on, right?



Too bad San Francisco's turnin' into such a magnet for supervillains.

[of_the_rat_variety]

I'm pretty sure a lot of them were here already. [She's getting herself some more booze. Whiskey, apparently.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

Wouldn't be surprised. Figure there's gotta be a reason they set up Section 13 here, even though they didn't know where the Dark Hand was based.



Guess there's just somethin' about us that makes magic folk take notice.



Yanno, Shendu was Valmont's fault, but the rest didn't start until after you decided to nab that cursed emerald...

[of_the_rat_variety]

It's about as likely to be the curse of the emerald as it is the sounds of my parents fucking that brought shit here.

[stoogesofsanfran]

And I've told ye a thousand times, Ratso. That curse went back to Chan when he agreed to take the emerald back. It ain't got a thing t'do with us runnin' into every boogeyman in town.

[Booze, he needs more of that booze. The bottle is already about half gone now...]



Uhh, Finn...maybe you oughta slow down on that...

[of_the_rat_variety]

At this point he's going to be useless in a fight. We might as well celebrate our jail break and go lizard hunting tomorrow.