Jail Cell Mee

[memezillamods]

The Jail Cell Meme

 
"What are you in for?"

Maybe you've only been arrested, or you've been convicted. 
Holding cell, prison cell, your choice.
There's now bars between you and the outside world.
Hope you like your cell mate.
And your guards.

Comments

[of_the_rat_variety]

[Fuck it, she's adding beer to the cooking. Adds flavour and is a great reason for her to get herself something harder.]

And here I was thinking I'd eat you two for dessert.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Yer thinkin' wrong, then. I dunneven swing that way.



[Excuse Ratso a moment while he turns bright red.]

I'm just gonna keep cookin'...



Ratso don't tend ta go fer the real rough an' tumble chicks.

[of_the_rat_variety]

Aw, cute. [She is definitely mocking.]

Get the plates, [She points to a cabinet.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

Ain't exactly what ya'd expect lookin' at 'im, is he?

[Heading for the cabinet. Food, yes.]



Ain't sure I've got much appetite left after hearin' all that.



You ain't drinkin' without food, Finn. 'Specially since you ain't gonna be able to eat no breakfast.

[of_the_rat_variety]

You should eat, or I could tell you stories that alcohol won't save you from.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Or I could start tellin' stories. Like that time ya got a bum deal with an Oni mask...



Fine, fine, I'm sittin'! An' don't ye ever bring up Ikazuki again!



[Well, something about this story has Ratso snickering like a grade schooler.]

[of_the_rat_variety]

Ah, no, you can't go tickling my dick like that and then blue-balling me!

[stoogesofsanfran]

Don't ye dare-



Finn here got a magic Oni mask stuck ta his ass an' ended up with a possessed rear.

[of_the_rat_variety]

Bilford Boggin, you're kidding me! And I was saying you were talking out of your ass! I'm sorry. Except I'm not.

[stoogesofsanfran]

I ain't kiddin'. Finn's luck's always been shit, but it really bottomed out that time.



Chow, I'm gonna strangle ye!



[Yeah, guess who's still snickering?]

C'mon Finn, try turnin' the other cheek for once.

[of_the_rat_variety]

Did it like talking shit?

[stoogesofsanfran]

Like ya wouldn't believe. First thing it said was "bow before my mighty form."



But no way was we bowin' to Finn's bum.



Fer the record, I hate all of ye.

[Back to the bottle he goes.]

[of_the_rat_variety]

It's not nearly hot enough for that! [She's now brining the food to the table and setting it down, then getting utensils. Yes, she has them. She's not a barbarian.]

Maybe after some hell fire. [She summons a small flame on her thumb briefly before letting it flicker out.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

Had enough'a demon fire fer a lifetime, thank ye. An' there ain't no need ta be throwin' insults just 'cause me bum's off limits.



Can't deny yer a stick figure, Finn. Real good thing ya ain't skippin' dinner.

[of_the_rat_variety]

[She doles out the utensils, using a fork to poke at Finn before setting it down for him.] Double portions for you, hot rod.

[She sits as well,] And if any of you want to say grace, go ahead so I can rip off your lips and sacrifice them to the god of your choosing.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Like were in a position ta guess which gods might be real or made up at this point. Probably all assholes, anyway.



I dunno, Santa's probably a decent guy.



[Snatching that fork. And yes, he is pretty scrawny under his two sets of sleeves.]

True 'nuff, anyone that sends Daolon Wrong packin' with bruises ain't so bad in my book.

[of_the_rat_variety]

I don't know if Santa counts as a god. But if he is real, that explains the lack of Christmas presents.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Aye, Santa's real alright. And powerful 'nuff that the ol' prune bag wanted his chi.



That's how we'd know he was evil. Yanno, if we didn't already from all the enslavin' and torturin' and whatnot.



Yanno, we never did find out how that went down.

[of_the_rat_variety]

And here I thought I just had a shitty parent!

[stoogesofsanfran]

Ain't nobody shittier than Daolon Wong.



Not even Shendu.



I dunno, Tarakudo wasn't so consistently bad, but when he was shitty, he was awful.

[of_the_rat_variety]

I was still talking about why I didn't get Christmas presents.

[stoogesofsanfran]

Oh. Nope, that was Santa tryin' ta tell ya somethin', alright.



Can be surprisin', findin' out which'a the old wives' tales are true, huh?

[He probably shouldn't be taking another drink of tequila before he starts eating. But he is.]

[of_the_rat_variety]

Not so surprising when you grow up with necromancers for parents. [She's digging in.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

Yeah, that'd do it.

[He's already been shoveling food into his mouth. Big guy, big appetite.]



Bit more surprisin' when yer folks thought magic was a bunch'a baloney.



Even when they don't, ye never know which've the legends is real. Never did see any proof of 'em 'til I was grown.

[of_the_rat_variety]

[She waves her hands to some of the artefacts and spell components around the room. There's some eyeballs in a jar that look way too big to be from any 'normal' creature.] My parents used to say that there's truth to every legend.